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Think you got what it takes to write for Cracked. Then submit an article or some other pieces of content. Cracked only offers comment voting to subscribing members.

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Think fast, hot shot: what's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "breasts"? Cute domes of fat that look pretty cool? Fascinating organs that can create free food for tiny humans?

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Amanda: I've got breasts, Chuck. I can make men do whatever I want. I could even make you punch yourself for a peek at these.

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Face it, breasts are awesome. As a woman, carrying them around all day can seem a little taxing at times especially if yours err on the larger sidebut the fact is, breasts are seriously incredible. And no, they're not incredible just because they defy gravity in your favorite dress or because they make you feel super sexy.

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They never rest. Especially not Jennifer McCreight, who is fighting this claim with an immodest proposal. Introducing Boobquake, an international call-to-arms for women to dress provocatively to prove Sedighi wrong.

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Why do straight men devote so much headspace to those big, bulbous bags of fat drooping from women's chests? Scientists have never satisfactorily explained men's curious breast fixation, but theorists are gonna theorize. Mammary glands are a defining feature of mammals, but humans seem unique in granting mammaries a large sexual role.

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As you might suspect, drilling down through the spin and downright lies prevalent in our political system in relationship to our economy can get awfully tiresome. Both sides craft tiresome attack ads aimed at demeaning the other, and I guess they pick up some votes that way, but their main impact is to make most of us sick of it all. Well, you have to click to see that photo.

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There is a certain splendor that comes with big boobs. Like having a majestic mountain range on your chest. With your great titties, you wear, like a badge of honor, the mightiest symbols of womanhood, capable of both nurturing offspring and driving a man mad with lust.

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How do you get something you want from another person? Logical arguments, diplomacy, trading, bribery, force, or — if you're a woman trying to persuade a man — the mere fact of having tatas. Yes, because writers think All Men Are Pervertswomen don't even need to pretend that getting sex is a likelihood or even a possibility.


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